


GOOD BYE

by ncsupnatfan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 14:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3532271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncsupnatfan/pseuds/ncsupnatfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a one-shot giving Sam center stage. I haven't really written a story centering on Sam and wanted to give it a try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	GOOD BYE

Good Bye

 

The early morning sun was just peaking over the mountains and bare trees as an alarm began to ring. The tall body of a man rolled over and slammed the off button of the clock before falling back down on the bed. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, blinking away the last vestiges of sleep. 

Sam rolled to a sitting position at the side of the bed, pausing for a moment, before heading for the bathroom and a hot shower. He was going into work super early to finish up the last research project on his desk. After turning it in, he was going to take a short break and get away. He had worked with this research firm for nearly two years. It wasn't what he had hoped he would be doing with his life, but it paid well and he was good at it. The dream of becoming a lawyer died the day his girlfriend Jess died.

The days were getting cooler in Denver and it wouldn't be long 'til there would be snow on the ground. Sam liked the cooler weather and looked forward to the solitude of the winter months. He stayed pretty much to himself, not socializing but occasionally with fellow workers. He didn't like trying to answer those awkward questions of where you from, got family, what's your favorite movie or music? He tried his best to forget about the past and all that he had lost through the years. It weighted heavy on his heart and he did his best to keep himself focused on other things.

A cell phone began to ring in the bedroom as he stuck his head out the door, pausing in towel drying his hair. He rarely got phone calls and only had the phone in case of an emergency. Only work really had the number and it was too early for anyone from there to call. The phone went to voice mail as the ringing stopped. Sam stepped back into the bathroom to finish drying his hair, he would check it later. It was probably a wrong number, if it was really important, they would call back.

The house he was renting was a modest two bedroom set alone the outskirts of the city. It was a small development and afforded him the quiet and peace he wanted. It was back off the road and nestled among some older poplar trees. He had lucked up finding the place after being hired by the research firm. The older couple he was renting from moved to Florida and was happy to have Sam as a renter. He took care of the place and any maintenance needed, allowing him a lower rent.

Pulling open the closet door, Sam rummaged through his clothes pulling out clean jeans, tee-shirt and a long-sleeved flannel shirt. He pulled briefs and socks from a dresser and quickly got dressed. He picked up his cell and boots and headed for the kitchen.

The coffee was hot and waiting on him as he grabbed a travel cup and filled it. He grabbed a power bar and his jacket before heading out to his old pickup to drive the thirty minutes to work. Most would have looked for something closer to the job, but Sam liked the alone time to think and calm his mind.

He drew in a fresh breath of the cool, crisp air before getting into his truck. It might not be the nicest looking thing on the road, but it got him there and back and it was four-wheel drive, so he could make to work during the bad weather they got in Denver.

Phoenix Research Group was located on the eastern side of Denver in a business district along with financial, banking and other business groups. They provided research for companies all over the country and were at the top of their field. PRG knew how to treat their employees and had little turn over. 

The parking lot was empty as Sam pulled into an empty space and parked. He slung his pack over his shoulder and headed for the front door. Sam pulled out his card and swiped it to unlock the front entrance.

"Hi Sam, early again I see." the security guard greeted him.

"Yeah George, want to finish up this latest project." Sam replied nodding in greeting.

"Have a good day."

"Thanks George." Sam called as he took the stairs up to the fourth floor and his office.

The office was neat and orderly just like Sam liked. It was a corner one and had a view of the mountains surrounding Denver. Sam sat his pack in a chair beside his desk and slid into his office chair. He flipped on his computer and pulled several files toward him, checking the last reference he looked up.

After his computer was up, Sam began to type, hunting and printing out certain articles to aid in his completion of his present assignment. Sam was one of the best researchers the firm had and they took full advantage of this, giving him the difficult assignments and he was well compensated for his work. All the years he had helped his family do research was paying off now.

Sam tried not to think about his past or his family. His father was dead and he had been on the outs with his brother for nearly two years. The last time he had seen his brother, was not a happy memory. They had fought and come to blows, before Sam had taken his things and left, not looking back. He had thought about trying to contact him several months after the fight, but didn't. He didn't know what to say to him, how to make things right, how to get him back in his life.

Leaving his brother was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. When he left, he left a part of himself in that motel room. That first month, Sam was so lost and full of despair, he had almost taken his own life. He had felt so alone and worthless, he saw no reason to live. 

Sam had gone as far as finding an isolated location and loaded his gun prepared to end his life. The only thing that stopped him was coming across a couple of kids who had gotten lost while hiking. His hunter instincts kicked in and he led the kids to safety. After that, the feelings of self destruction were gone; he still felt emptiness deep down in his soul that wouldn't go away. Sam made his mind up that he couldn't kill himself, he would take it a day at a time and try to move on. He would try to make a life for himself.

With one last search, Sam found the remaining information he needed and printed it out adding it to the stack in the file and closing it, marking it completed. He leaned back in the chair and sighed rubbing his eyes for a minute. He reached into his pocket for a mint and felt his phone. Curious to see what the voicemail said, he punched in his code and listened.

"Sam, how ya doing son?" a familiar voice asked as Sam gasped. He had not heard this voice in nearly three years, but why would he be calling now. Sam continued to listen. "I know I haven't talked to ya in a long time and for that I take part of the blame, for that I wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant to cut you out of my life. The reason I'm callin'; it's 'bout your brother. Sam, you need to come to Sioux Falls Medical Center as soon as you can. If you have any feelings left at all for your brother, make it sooner rather than later."

With a click of the button, Sam ended the voice mail sitting back in his chair unsure of what to make of Bobby's message. If he wanted him to come to the hospital, that meant Dean was hurt and hurt bad to be at a hospital. He pursed his lips and scooted to the keyboard, quickly typing an email to his boss letting him know he would be out-of-town for a few days and that his last project was completed and in his box.

Sam gathered his things and headed for the parking lot and his truck. He would swing by his home, pick up some clothes and head to Sioux Falls. Sam maneuvered through the traffic and took a few side streets to avoid some of the congestion of the main streets. He did stop before he got to his house and filled the truck.

His mind was in overdrive, as he pulled into the garage and headed inside. Sam grabbed his duffel and began to stuff clothes in it. He decided to pack enough for a week, just in case. Out of habit, he dug around in his closet, moving boxes until he pulled out his weapon's bag. Pausing for a moment, he looked at the bag trying to remember the last time he had seen it. It seemed like a lifetime ago, one he had tried so hard to forget as he started his new life. It was still ingrained in him; you always went prepared for anything. With a huff he, picked up his pack and the weapon's bag.

After being sure to unplug the coffee pot and turn off the water to the house, Sam was ready to go. He grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and a box of power bars from the cabinet before picking up his bags, locking the door and putting everything in the truck. He did a quick check of the fluids, before opening the garage door and backing out.

It didn't take him long to get on the interstate heading east toward Sioux Falls. It was going to be at least a nine-hour drive if he only stopped for gas. Sam fiddled with the radio until he found a station to his liking and settled down for the long drive ahead of him. He matched his speed with the traffic around him, trying not to think about the voicemail and its meaning. All he knew was he needed to get to his brother.

spnspnspn

The sun was starting to set as he pulled into Sioux Falls and headed for the hospital. He found a parking space in the visitor's lot. The temperature was dropping now that the sun was sinking lower in the sky, causing him to pull his jacket closer around his shivering body. Drawing in a deep breath, he prepared himself for what lay beyond the front doors; he headed for the entrance to the hospital. Sam stopped at the information desk and waited for the volunteer to get off the phone.

"May I help you?"

"I think my brother may be here."

"His name?"

"Dean.." Sam started pausing at the last name not sure what to say. Would Dean be here under Winchester or another name?

"Last name?" she asked waiting for Sam to respond.

"Winchester." he said slowly, hoping he had guessed right.

Sam waited patiently while she typed on her keyboard. He watched her expression change briefly before going back to neutral like she was hiding something. He saw a look of pity in her eyes most people would have missed and his stomach began to churn.

"You can take the elevator behind us to the fourth floor and go down to the waiting room on the right, a doctor will be out to talk with you shortly." she instructed.

Sam walked around behind the desk and waited for the elevator. The door slid open and Sam stepped on pushing the button for the fourth floor and stepped back waiting. It seemed to take forever for the doors to close and the elevator to begin to rise. A ring announced it had arrived at the fourth floor and the door slowly parted, allowing Sam to exit. He looked to the right and saw a sign for waiting room a few doors down the hall. Sam walked toward the room, pausing when he saw a familiar figure sitting in one of the chairs, sipping a cup of coffee.

Bobby looked up as the door to the room opened slowly revealing the tall, lean form of a man he considered his son. He stood and waited for him to come closer, not wanting to seem too anxious.

"Hey Bobby." Sam said softly as he stopped in front of him.

"Good to see you son, it's been too long." Bobby replied slowly, before grabbing him in a tight bear hug.

Sam stiffened at first and then the memories flooded back and he hugged him back. Sam drank in the smell of Old Spice and whiskey, beating himself up for not calling his adopted father after he split with Dean. It wasn't Bobby's fault that happened and he shouldn't have shut him out too.

"You're looking good, a little road weary; I assume you drove straight through from Denver?" Bobby tried to smile, holding Sam out for inspection.

"How did you know I was in Denver? How did you get my phone number? I didn't get that phone until I was there."

"Dean told me. He's been keeping an eye on you since you left. He even checked out the couple you're renting from, made a deal with them so they would cut the amount of rent you're paying. He's been swinging by two or three times a month to be sure you were ok. Just 'cause you both are stubborn jackasses don't mean you stop being brothers."

"Why didn't he come and see me?" Sam said shocked by the words.

"He wanted to give you your space and you made your choice pretty clear you wanted out. He was respecting that. "Bobby said finding it hard to keep a calm voice. "You have Dean's number don't you?"

"Yeah, I started to call a dozen times, I-I don't know why I didn't." 

"What's past is past now son." 

Sam took a good look at the older hunter and saw how tired and worried he looked. He seemed nervous and beaten.

"How long you been here?"

"Four days, I would of called sooner, but I though he..."

"Bobby what's going on? Where's Dean?"

"I think you should talk to the doctor first."

"Bobby tell me what's going on, I need to know what's going on with my brother."

Before the elder hunter could answer, a middle-aged man dressed scrubs walked in. He looked at the two men for a moment before approaching.

"Hello you must be Sam, Dean's brother?"

"Yes."

"I'm Dr. Mitchell, your brother's doctor."

"What's going on? Where's my brother? I want to see him."

"Sam, I had Mr. Singer get in touch with you since you are Dean's only living relative. When Dean was brought in, he was in critical condition; he had lost a great deal of blood and had some very serious injuries. We patched him up as best we could, but I'm afraid his injuries were too great. He took a turn of the worse yesterday, I'm sorry to inform you there is nothing else we can do for him, but keep him comfortable. He is on life support, but his brain waves are deteriorating more each day. He has not regained full consciousness since he was brought in. It's only a matter of time."

The more the doctor talked, the paler Sam got. The room seemed to be closing in on him as the doctor's voice started to sound very far away. Black spots seemed to dance in front of his eyes as Bobby grabbed him and pulled him into a chair before he hit the floor. Sam sat down hard, trying to let the words from the doctor make sense. There must be some kind of mistake; he couldn't be talking about Dean. Dean was a hunter and a damn good one, one of the best, how could this have happened? 

"When you're ready, you can see your brother, he's in room 456, at the end of the hall. We'll talk more tomorrow. I'm sorry for the bad news."

Sam nodded to the doctor not able to form words, let along say them. Bobby thanked the doctor before he left, then took a seat beside Sam.

"You ok Sam? I know this is not what you expected, hell I never thought something like this would happen."

"What happened to my brother?" he finally gasps out.

"Don't rightly know couple of hunters found him and brought him in and called me. They didn't know how long he was out there injured. The only thing I can figure is a hunt went wrong."

"I want to see Dean." Sam croaked out, swallowing hard as he clenched his trembling hands into fists to stop the shaking.

"Sam, you need to prepare yourself, it's not good." Bobby cautioned. "Come on I'll show you his room."

Sam steadied himself as he got to his feet and followed Bobby out of the waiting room and down the hall to room 456. Bobby paused at the door waiting for Sam to go inside.

"I'll just stay outside here, if you need me call."

Sam put his hand on the door and steadied himself, squaring his shoulders, before pushing open the door. He stepped into the dimly lit room and around the curtain blocking the bed from sight. The first thing that struck him was the monitors and ventilator noise. He watched the machine hiss and breathe making Dean's chest go up and down. The monitor recorded his heart beat, BP, and O2 levels. He watched the line for his heart beat bounce up and down in an unsteady pace.

Slowly, Sam let his eyes fall to his brother's body, or at least he thought it was his brother. He took in the paleness of his skin, making every freckle stand out across his nose. A nasty, purple, blackish bruise covered one cheek running down his neck disappearing behind his head. He could see stitches along his hairline closing an ugly gash. Sam frowned when he noticed older scars riddled across his chest that he had never seen before. He let his eyes scan his brother's body taking in the bandages that cover his part of his chest and continued under the sheet covering his body. One arm was in a cast and carefully raising the sheet, he saw one leg had a cast also. 

Swallowing hard, Sam straightened back up doing a quick sweep of his brother again. He had seen Dean injured before, but never this bad. 

Sam pulled a chair over to the head of the bed where he could see his brother's face. The past two years had not been kind to him; he looked like he had aged ten years since the last time Sam laid eyes on him. His eyes were sunken with dark circles under them and his skin looked almost translucent. Sam sat there shocked trying to make his lungs cooperate and draw in air. The more he tried, the harder it was to breathe. He recognized the symptoms of a panic attack and tried to calm himself down before it got out of control.

Back in the corner of his mind, he always figured to see Dean again, but never did he image it would be like this, a broken body beyond repair. Sam's vision of his brother blurred as he blinked the tears out of his eyes and let them roll down his face. He reached out a trembling hand and laid it over his brother's cool one, afraid almost to touch him. 

"Crap Dean, what the hell happened to you?" Sam whispered to the still body. "Where's my big brother? DeMint Dean, why didn't you come to see me one those times you checked on me?" he questioned. "I would never admit it to myself, but I think I sensed you a few times, like someone was watching me, but you were good, I never saw you. I should have called you, God I should have called you. I don't know if you can hear me, but Dean I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I missed you so much."

Sam bowed his head and quietly let the tears flow unabated as he felt his heart rip apart. This was not happening, this was all a bad dream and he was going to wake up in his bed, in his home in Denver. He almost had himself believing this until one of the machines started beeping a shrill high-pitched tone, causing Sam to look up in fright. He stood as two nurses hurried in and quickly began checking Dean and the machines.

"Sir, you need to leave." one told Sam steering him toward the door.

As Sam was pushed out, two doctors rushed in closing the door behind them. Sam turned to Bobby with panic and fear written on his face.

"Sam what happened?"

'I-I don't know. One of the machines started beeping all crazy and then they ran me out." Sam said running his fingers through his long hair and pushing it out of his face.

"It'll be ok." Bobby said placing a warm hand on his shoulder trying to comfort the young man. Sam brushed the wetness off his cheeks as the two doctors came back out of Dean's room. Bobby and Sam looked up waiting for one to speak.

"We've got him stable again, but I don't think his body will be able to withstand many more of these attacks. I'm going to consult with Dr. Mitchell, but I think you need to prepare yourself, it's only a matter of time now." he said sympathetically. "When the nurses are done you can go back in."

Bobby and Sam waited by the door as the two nurses came out letting Sam and Bobby go in. Sam hugged his arms around his body trying to hold himself together. Bobby went to the other side of the bed and took the chair sitting down beside the bed. He reached out and patted Dean's hand lovingly.

"Hey son, you have a visitor, Sam came to see ya, told you he would." Bobby whispered to him. "You just rest now, we'll be right here. It's ok now."

Sam sat back down on the other side and took Dean's other hand and squeezed it gently hoping Dean could feel it. He wanted him to know he was there and not alone. Both men sat by the bed listening to the steady drone watching Dean's chest gently rise and fall. Time slowly slipped by as the night overtook the day, casting the outside world into dark shadows.

"Dean, I'm here now. I'm not going to leave you, it'll be ok." Sam began talking to Dean while he absently rubbed arm, wanting to have physical contact with him. "You just rest."

"I'm going to go get a coffee, want one?" Bobby asked wanting to give Sam some time with his brother.

"That'd be good."

"I'll be back in a bit."

"I'm living in Denver now, but I guess you know that. I'm renting this nice little house on the outskirts of the city. You'd like it, it's quiet." he rambled wanting so bad for Dean to answer him. "Why did we let this go on? We're brothers; we're all each of us have left. You can't leave now, you have to fight, I need you."

Sam's voice broke on the last words as a sob caught in his throat. He swallowed it back down with a hiccup as he wiped away the flowing tears. A whimper escaped as he drew in a shaky breath.

"Dean come back to me, please." he whispered urgently.

There was a knock and Bobby came back in carrying two cups of coffee. He handed one to Sam before going back to the chair and sitting back down. They both watched Dean for any change each trying to deal with their own grief. 

With the long drive and sheer exhaustion Sam began to nod off. He tried to make himself more comfortable in a very uncomfortable chair as his head fell forward and his eyes closed. He slept like that for several hours before jerking himself awake. He winced to the pain in his neck and stood and stretched his long frame trying to pop the kinks in his back. He looked over at Bobby and saw him dozing in the other chair. Sam looked down and saw he still had a grip on Dean's hand.

Sam turned toward the door as a soft knock sounded. Bobby woke from the knock and stood up, waiting to see who it was.

"Sam, Mr. Singer, I was briefed on the episode last night, I'd like to run a couple more tests this morning."

"Ok, when?" Sam asked.

"As soon as possible. If you two will step out, maybe get some breakfast, I'll let the nurse know and as soon as I've reviewed it, I'll come out and talk with you."

"Come on Sam, let's go to the cafeteria, they're serving breakfast now."

Sam allowed Bobby to steer him out of the room and toward the elevator. He didn't want anything to eat, the way his stomach felt, he'd just throw it back up. They got off on the third floor and made their way to the cafeteria.

spnspnspn

The doctor knocked and walked back into Dean's room glancing around for Bobby and Sam. Both stood up and waited anxious to find out the results.

"If you'll follow me, we'll talk in a consult room just below here." he said leading them to a small room below the room.

Sam and Bobby took a seat and waited for the doctor to sit down and begin.

"Mr. Singer, Sam, I've reviewed all the tests and examined him again. It's not good news I'm afraid. Dean has no active brain waves now; the only thing keeping your brother alive is the ventilator. It is your decision how long we keep him alive like that. I'm sorry there's nothing else we can do for him. I know this must be hard on you." he said sadly seeing the stricken look on Sam's face. "I'll let you think about it and you can let us know what you want to do."

Sam and Bobby stood to leave neither capable of saying anything. His brother was gone; all that was lying in that bed was a shell, nothing more. Sam leaned against the wall with his head down letting all those words weight him down like a ton of bricks. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he couldn't breathe. It felt like someone had knocked the breathe out of him.

Bobby's heart ached for the young man as he watched him deflate, drawing in on himself.  
"Sam, you want to get some air?" Bobby asked softly.

"No, I want to be with my brother." Sam said pulling himself up and heading back down the hall.

Bobby followed behind him walking faster to keep up with his long strides.

Sam burst into his brother's room and ran to his side. He stood there panting starting down at Dean's body as he lay motionless on the bed. This was not Dean, this was not his brother any more, this broken body with no soul. Dean was gone now.

"He wouldn't want this Bobby, not this."

"I know son, it's your decision and I'll stand by whatever you decide."

"I want him at peace Bobby and the only way to do that is to let his body go too."

Sam lovingly caressed Dean's face knowing what he had to do. 

"Dean, I love you so much. I know I have to say good bye now."

He pushed the nurse's button on the bed and waited. It wasn't but a couple of minutes and a nurse came in.

"Can you get the doctor please?" Sam said taking a deep shaky breath.

"I'll page him sir." she said knowingly and left.

"Do you want to say good-bye?"

"No son, I've said my good-byes, we were waiting on you. I'll give you a few minutes."

Sam's bit his lower lip as he looked down at his brother. The ache in his soul hurt so much he thought it would consume him. How was he going to go on? It was one thing being on the outs with his brother and not seeing him, there had always been that thread of hope they would reconcile, but now he knew he would never see him again. This was lasting, forever, the end, there would be no making up, no being brothers. Tears ran freely and dripped from his face.

"Good-bye brother, I love you." Sam said weeping silently. He wiped his face as the doctor and Bobby stepped in. "It's time, I know what Dean would want and this is not it."

"I know this is hard, would you like to wait outside?"

"No, I need to be here for him so he's not alone." Sam's voice cracked trying his best to hold it together. He held his good hand in both of his waiting for the doctor to disconnect the machines.

"As you want." he said going to the machines and beginning to switch them off. He turned off the ventilator and removed the tube from Dean's throat.

Dean lay still and breathed on his own for a few minutes until slowly the rise of his chest stopped and he breathed his last breath but not before giving Sam's hand a gentle squeeze.

"He's gone now." the doctor told them softly stepping back from the bed.

"D-Dee." Sam stuttered, running from the room.

Sam slammed open the door to the stairs and raced down them and out of the hospital. He fumbled with the truck keys before getting them out and opening the door. Sam pulled out of the parking lot and drove away from the hospital. He drove away from the town and up into the deserted hills finally pulling off to the side of the road and falling out of his truck. 

He dry heaved for several minutes as everything caught up with him. Sam felt it welding up within him and threw his head back and screamed a primal cry like he had never before let creep over his lips. His agonizing cry echoed through the trees and down through the valley as he cried until his throat was so raw he could hardly draw in a breath. Sam wept until there was nothing left inside of him. The sorrow and anguish consumed him until he collapsed on the ground letting dirt and grit dig into his cheek. He didn't care that small rocks were digging into his cheek and hands as he lay by his truck.

His cell phone ran in his pocket, but Sam didn't bother moving to answer it. Sam's breathing began to even out as he lay there feeling the gentle drops of rain begin to hit his body. He shifted slightly before sitting up slowly and turning his face to the rain. It mixed with his tears and washed part of the dirt from his face. He knew he needed to go back; Dean was a hunter and deserved a hunter's funeral. It was the least he could do for him. He knew Bobby would be taking care of the body and he had to get it together and help.

spnspnspn

Sam held Dean's lighter as Bobby finished with the wood. When he nodded he was done, Sam took a step forward and lit the lighter letting it drop on the kindling catching it on fire. Sam stepped back and watched in silence as the flames began to grow and dance across the wrapped body of his big brother. More of the wood began to burn as the wrapped body was consumed by the fire. The heat from the flames dried the tears on Sam's cheeks and warmed his cold body.

Sam looked up when he saw movement at the edge of the trees. He saw hunters, some he knew, some he didn't step out and stand in silence, paying their respects to his brother. All bowed their heads for a few minutes and then looked up at Sam, nodding before fading back into the trees and disappearing. 

Sam stood stiffly beside Bobby as they said their good-byes one last time. Bobby put a fatherly hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed gently letting him know he was there for him. Life would go on, Sam knew that, but the emptiness he now had was not ever going away. 

Sam looked up in the trees, watching the wind, as a warm breeze swept over him and he could have sworn he heard a whisper in his ear, "I love you baby brother." as a soft touch brushed across his cheek. 

The End  
￼


End file.
